After going to public sessions for a few weeks, eventually we decided to take trial lessons at the local skate club. Like most parents actually, I could’ve just signed my kid up for lessons, but I decided to join her, because I had been on the ice with her from day one, and frankly, I could not stand the idea to just stand there behind the wall and watch my kid do all the hard work alone.
I was immediately weirded out by all the parents on the sidelines. It felt like such a waste of time to just stand there doing nothing, maybe filming one or two low-res phone videos.
On the other hand, I really had no interest in figure skating, as in the sport, the competitive nature of it all, or being part of a club. For my whole childhood, I was basically harassed by PE teachers and always hated sports. Particularly anything that had to do with competition. Entering that club took me right back to my worst memories of all the abuse and disgusting language I experienced in sports lessons.
Nota bene: I didn’t hate physical activity, I hated PE in school. I ran a half-marathon, I love hiking, swimming and cross-country skiing. I enjoy all sorts of sports. I just don’t enjoy being graded, evaluated and body-shamed.
To me, entering a sports club was really associated with a lot of negative feelings and just something I would’ve deemed “so not for me”. Yet there we were, me and my kid, taking group lessons. Or first, well, trial lessons.
We were told that her skates were good and mine as well. So that was a good start. At this point, I had also skated a lot in these public sessions and didn’t feel super afraid anymore, but I was far from secure on the ice. I did however really want to learn something, and I was excited to participate to the best of my abilities.
However, my enthusiasm would fade pretty fast, mostly because after just one day they already put me in a group with 3-year-old kids. It was just so uncomfortable, and i constantly felt like I’d run over some little girl. Let alone the fact that I was in one group with my own daughter then and that wasn’t helpful either.
I do understand the issue that, if you join late in the season, people won’t cater to you. But frankly, I think it was to no advantage for them either. It wasn’t just bad for me that I was in that group, it was absurd for the kids and just as disruptive as if I had been in a group of beginner adults that were slightly better than me cause they had been skating for two months…
Anyway, I am glad I didn’t let myself be discouraged by that, and after the initial internal eye-rolling, I told myself “Well, I paid for it, it is what it is.” and “Let’s make the most of it.”
After all, I could see how much fun my kid had with these kinds of sessions. She was in a group of other kids now, learning together and having fun. Something to take away from this though, if you are a beginner skater. You just have to look out for yourself.
You can’t wait for people to come to you and teach you, you have to ask, step up, participate, and not be a gray mouse in the back who is too intimidated to ask. If you’re an adult and you are coming into this very foreign space for the first time, you are already pretty brave.
I will never forget how stupid I felt seeing all these parents outside the rink watch their kids, but also sometimes look at me losing my balance and looking stupid. Their glances felt like hours, not seconds, and I am 100% certain I looked completely ridiculous, you can not convince me otherwise.
Yet what good does it to me to focus on that? Nothing. It does nothing good whatsoever. So don’t repeat my mistakes. Instead of worrying, just focus on yourself and do your best. And ask for things. They can say no or be mean, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t affect you. You are there to learn and you’re doing this for yourself. You’re not competing with anyone but yourself.
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